


Snapshots of The life and times of Hatake Kakashi, Nukenin

by Hermionechan90



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-03-04 07:17:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 16,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2967704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hermionechan90/pseuds/Hermionechan90
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Approved spin off story of The life and times of Hatake Kakashi, Nukenin from Whispering Darkness. Kakashi may now have to live the life of a missing nin but that didn't mean that he couldn't have fun did it? ...though there are a few things that he really hadn't anticipated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WhisperingDarkness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingDarkness/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Nukenin](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2469131) by [WhisperingDarkness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingDarkness/pseuds/WhisperingDarkness). 



So, a few weeks ago I came across this awesome oneshot [The life and times of Hatake Kakashi, nukenin from Whispering Darkness](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10762836/1/The-life-and-times-of-Hatake-Kakashi-nukenin) and I was in the mood to write a few small scenes for it. I urge you to read that story first because you won’t understand anything otherwise. And of course I got permission from **Whispering Darkness** to upload this piece of fiction.

Have fun!

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**Sticky Fingers**

**Beta’d by Black Sparrow**

Kakashi couldn't help the grin that nearly split his face in half underneath his mask, messing with his fellow Konoha nin was just too much fun, maybe even more so now that he was a missing nin. This was the third time he had intervened with a fight and backed up Konoha teams. Their faces afterwards were always priceless. Not to mention the outrage that followed when they noticed that he had pilfered their wallets, took the ryo and left small notes with confusing messages or insults. This habit had started when he had been particularly annoyed at a fresh Jounin that had tried to attack him five times throughout their encounter even though his team leader had agreed to the temporary truce between them. Kakashi had felt dark satisfaction when he had relieved the Jounin of his money and left a teasing and rather insulting note. Though no matter how childish he felt Kakashi still had his standards, he never stole from anybody below high Chunin, that would be just unfair to the poor guys

The silver haired missing nin had to admit that playing pranks was strangely therapeutic and relaxing, Naruto clearly had had the right idea when he had pranked the village while he was younger. His newest spiel was that he fucked with the Intelligence division back in Konoha, for that he used the different codes he had picked up in his ANBU years and left them in strategic village bars close to Konoha or at drop off points for information. It varied from questioning Ibiki's sexuality to asking if Inoichi had ever possessed various Konoha ninja of note and posed in their bodies for blackmail photos. Now and then he sent them a number code that alluded to the Icha Icha series or underworld civilians in incriminating or embarrassing positions… not that his victims ever knew that it was him. No, now that would be bad for business.

Kakashi was seriously wondering what the reactions to his antics were back at home and how his psychological profile looked like nowadays… though on second thought, he was probably better off not knowing.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Meeting old acquaintances**

**Beta’d by Black Sparrow**

Their encounter was completely accidental.

Kakashi was just in the small port town to stock up on a few hygiene products when he noticed a creepy old and clearly overweight man harass a child. The girl couldn't be older than ten and was clearly uncomfortable. Fucking pedophiles. With a few quick steps he was behind the girl and glared at the fat old geezer.

"Remove your arm," he bit out while he let out a small bit of killing intent.

The man across from him started to sweat before he quickly took a few steps back.

"Now scram."

Kakashi continued in the same tone while he watched the civilian nearly pee his pants, he committed the face to memory for later on, the world would be a better place with one pedophile less. Taking care of that the missing nin turned to the child and said in friendly voice, "You shouldn't be alone here it isn't safe. Where are your parents or guardians?"

When his eyes finally fell on the face of the kid Kakashi nearly froze… that was a younger Haku.

"Thank you… I will return to my guardian," the girl/boy replied while he bowed in front of Kakashi.

"Mah don't worry, just be careful next time."

With a last nod Haku left. Still somewhat incredulous Kakashi opened his senses, if Haku was here Zabuza couldn't be far.

Maybe he should leave now… but where would be the fun in that?

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Annoying Mist missing nin 101**

**Beta’d by Black Sparrow**

Here goes nothing Kakashi thought before he jumped from the tree and landed in the clearing. Both Zabuza and Asuma jumped apart to stare at him.

"Hatake, can't you see I'm busy, come again later," Zabuza grunted out while he kept an eye on Asuma.

Kakashi wasn't sure what that said about his relationship with the Mist missing nin when Zabuza had come to expect his random appearances over the years. And only reacted with tired resignation to his random visits and joint mission proposals.

The wind user across from Kakashi stiffened at what he had said and Asuma's eyes switched between Kakashi and Zabuza. Kakashi felt a bit bad at making his former comrade sweat like this, though it was kind of funny watching Asuma draw the wrong conclusions.

Turning his attention back to Zabuza, Kakashi put his hands into his pockets and said, "Mah, sorry about that but this is kind of important. Word is you work for Gato."

Zabuza just grunted in affirmation but refrained from saying anything he still eyes Asuma speculatively.

"You remember Maki-chan?" Kakashi continued.

"The medic nin with the huge knockers?"

"Yup," Kakashi answered with a happy eye crease.

He liked Maki, and while her figure was a definite plus point it wasn't the main reason. Akahino Maki was a skilled medic nin formerly from Frost and was Kakashi's go to if he got himself injured above his capabilities. She was also the reason why he had a 'legitimate' cause to be in Wave and prevent Zabuza's clash with whichever Konoha team had been sent with Tazuna.

Zabuza sighed and played along. "What about her?"

"She worked for Gato too… and then she was nearly killed when the fucker set her and another missing nin up… and apparently this wasn't the first time he pulled something like that," Kakashi answered cheerfully, sure that it would draw a reaction.

With a kind of unholy glee the silver haired missing nin watched as Zabuza's eyebrow twitched in clear frustration, it was always so satisfying to throw the sword man for a loop and so Kakashi happily continued.

"So anyway you know how helpful I am, I agreed to get Maki-chan her revenge and when I heard that you were working for Gato I thought that I would give you heads up and offer the share half -half."

"You are a fucking asshole Hatake," Zabuza grounded out. "Every time we meet up you fucking get weirder. Fine half –half, though Gato is mine."

"Agreed," Kakashi said happily with an eye crease before his eyes landed on the tree across from them.

"Haku-kun, why it has been awhile!" he said happily while the now revealed shinobi jumped down from the tree, he wasn't wearing the Hunter mask he usually used on missions and his pretty face was fully revealed.

"Kakashi-san. I trust you are well," the ice user said warmly while he bowed shortly.

"Indeed I am. I just returned from a mission in the Land of the Moon," he answered happily, still completely ignoring the Konoha team.

"Land of the Moon?" Haku asked hopefully before he looked somewhat sideways his fingers touching not unlike Hinata when she was nervous "I… is there a possibility that… I mean did you…"

Inwardly Kakashi grinned while outwardly he just reached into one of his pouches and took out some wrapped hard candies. Haku had a secret addiction to the coffee and cinnamon flavored hard candy from Moon. And the silver haired missing nin gleefully spoiled and bribed the boy every chance he got, after all Haku was a nice kid, very polite… there was also the nice side effect that it drove Zabuza absolutely crazy. And indeed Haku's face lit up before he shunshined to Kakashi's side and opened up his hands so that the silver haired shinobi could drop a handful into his hands.

"Thank you very much Kakashi-san," the boy said brightly before he quickly stashed his new treasures in the many pouches on his body.

Behind them Zabuza face palmed.

"Fucking Konoha ninja, missing nin or not. HATAKE! How often did I tell you to stop spoiling the brat! And you Haku, you should be above such bribes!"

"Sorry Zabuza-san," Haku said happily but didn't stop to stash away his sweets; instead he took out one of them and popped it into his mouth.

"Ugh. I'm surrounded by morons," the sword man groaned before he turned to the somewhat dumbfounded Asuma. "Right. Well looks like you aren't my business anymore Sarutobi, lucky for you and your brats, just don't interfere with my business. We clear!?"

With that he turned around and jumped onto the next tree.

"It was nice to see you again Asuma. You back in Konoha for good? And you decided to get a Genin team… well have fun with that!" Kakashi said cheerfully to the still dumbfounded Asuma before he waved at the Ino-Shika-Chou team and ran after Zabuza and Haku.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Of pranks and the insane**

**Beta’d by Black Sparrow**

Sarutobi Hiruzen stared at the most recent encounter of one of his teams with Hatake Kakashi and suppressed the urge to sigh or at least bury his head in his arms. What had he done to deserve this? Really, did the S-Rank missing really have nothing else to do then play pranks on his shinobi?

A weary sigh escaped the old Hokage while his thoughts wandered to the former ANBU captain. Like always he felt a bone deep sense of guilt when he thought about Minato's last living student. Maybe if he had insisted stronger on delaying Kakashi's indoctrination into the ANBU forces or pulled him out after a certain time, Kakashi would have not turned his back onto the village.

The whole debacle had happened shortly before the Uchiha crisis and Sarutobi had never been able to fully investigate what had truly turned the silver haired prodigy against Konoha. And now this was coming back to bite him in the ass.

No one in the Intelligence division, not even Inoichi had the slightest clue what these strange communications with Konoha teams meant, though like always the most outrageous theories ran rampant throughout the ninja corps. And as far as Hiruzen had last been updated they contained everything from Kakashi finally losing the last of his mind, a personality altering gen or ninjutsu, to him just setting up an elaborate trap for Konoha.

The Sandaime himself was careful not to read too much into these… communications. For a painful moment he had felt himself reminded of Kushina when she dealt with grief and anger. Even Naruto was just the same and for a brief second hope had bloomed inside of him that Kakashi was just dealing with whatever had driven him off in the Uzumaki way before his logic had crushed the thought before he could form completely. What utter nonsense Kakashi was much too serious a ninja for that, there had to be another reason.

It also worried Hiruzen somewhat that Konoha apparently gained a reputation of driving their prodigies into insanity and missing nin status, no matter that Uchiha Itachi was ironclad loyal to Konoha. But oh well, there was nothing that he could do about THAT now.

Somewhat tired Hiruzen looked out of the glass front of the Hokage office and stared at the orange/ red glowing roofs, another day over and again he had still too much paperwork left. At times like this the longing for his deceased wife became near unbearable. She had always been the one person that could calm him down and force him to relax no matter the circumstances.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Too fucking early in the morning**

**Beta’d by Black Sparrow**

Kakashi wasn't entirely awake yet, his head was still buzzing from the alcohol that he had consumed the night before and he wasn't in the mood for the chirping birds around him and the brightly shining sun. Why the hell hadn't he stayed in Earth a bit longer? This time of the year the sky was clouded and the nearly constant rain quieted the animals in the woods.

With a sigh Kakashi lifted his headband and rubbed his still closed Sharingan, it was throbbing even worse than his open one though he had no idea why. A crack to his left shot some adrenaline through his body, before his eyes landed on a sight which he could have forgone.

Under the highest tree of the clearing stood Orochimaru and Kabuto.

Why hadn't he stayed in bed?

Kakashi suppressed a sigh before he turned his head to take in the two other missing nin and asked rhetorically, "Would it be possible if you came back tomorrow?"

The silence was telling enough.

"Didn't think so," Kakashi answered his own question.

In the next moment he snapped open his Sharingan and activated Kamui in the middle of Orochimaru's body. Kakashi expected the Sannin to jump into the trees or side step and then attack him but it didn't come that far. Baffled the silver haired missing nin watched as Orochimaru failed to understand the danger of Kamui and came straight at him.

Only for his torso and lower body to vanish into another dimension.

Kakashi looked dumbfounded at the decapitated head of the Snake Sannin… did he just? Only his decades of experience let him shunshin away in the nick of time and escape the chakra scalpels that normally would have buried themselves in his back. With an even faster movement Kakashi located Kabuto's position and reactivated Kamui. The medic nin was smarter than his former master and tried to move out of the way, only he wasn't fast enough and part of his hip and lower torso was swallowed up in the Sharingan technique. Kakashi watched sickly fascinated as Kabuto tried to keep his innards from spilling out of his body, futilely. In less than half a minute the medical prodigy lay dead on the ground.

Coming out of his stupor Kakashi couldn't help but close both eyes, he had the weirdest feeling that the Universe was laughing at him just now. Since when was it that freaking easy to kill the Snake creeper and his medic? In his Universe Orochimaru had been a real threat to Konoha who he didn't want to meet without sufficient back up. That he had now killed two of the biggest threats to Konoha made Kakashi feel uneasy. The silver haired missing nin had the sudden urge to return to his bed and pull the blanket over his head.

Still somewhat confused he sealed Orochimaru's head and Kabuto's body into two scrolls before he headed into the direction of the next village. Kakashi felt like he deserved some fortification before he braved the Bounty bureau closest to his location. Taking down those two would probably bring a whole slew of different problems with it.


	6. Chapter 6

**The consequence of an action**

Kakashi stared at the black haired teenager in front of him.

“I’m sorry would you care to repeat that?”

“Train me.”

“And why should I?”

“Hhn… You are a strong, you killed Orochimaru.”

Kakashi stared at his former… future? student before he shrugged his shoulders and said “Sure.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

So just to clear something up, Kakashi killed Orochimaru and Kabuto nearly a year after the Sand/ Sound invasion and Sasuke’s defection.

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**Haruno Sakura**

**Beta’d by Black Sparrow**

Kakashi had to consciously stop himself from staring at this version of his only female student. What had happened to Haruno Sakura in this life that he found her a year after the Sound/Suna invasion desperately fighting off some no name Chunin missing nin from Iwa? Around this time she should have been in the middle of her studies for her first medical license. Kakashi knew that because he hadn't been able to stay away from the only other person of Team 7 left in Konoha. He had been literally stalking her whenever he had time between missions. Of course he was aware that that was kind of creepy and he wasn't very proud of what he did but well… ninja. 

The teenager in front of him had long hair bound in a low ponytail and a scar that reached from her left temple to the beginning of her throat. Sakura was also wearing the standard Konoha wear and a Chunin vest instead of a red outfit with the Haruno clan symbol somewhere.

Her taijutsu wasn't the fastest but she was slippery enough to keep herself from getting injured too badly, though Kakashi could tell that she was fast becoming tired. Where the hell was her backup? And why the hell was Tsunade's apprentice so close to the boarders?

In the next moment Kakashi lost his trail of thought and he reacted unconsciously. The next hit of the Iwa nin on her left side would have been fatal for the pink haired kunoichi if Kakashi hadn't appeared suddenly in front of her and killed all three missing nin with one controlled lighting attack.

Behind him Kakashi felt Sakura drop against a tree to put more distance between them while she prepared herself once more for an attack. The scent of her fear became even stronger, apparently she had recognized him somehow and was now thinking the worst. Deliberately Kakashi slowly turned around before he looked at the grim faced Sakura. Her whole body was tensed like a snake coiled to attack while she shifted her body so that her injured side wasn't in his direct field of vision; she was clearly ready to try to counter an attack from him. Though there was a certain resignation in her eyes that told him that she knew that she had no chance against him.

"Mah what is a little baby Chunin like you doing so far away from Konoha?" he asked cheerfully and as non-threatening as possible while he disposed of the missing nin with a quick fire jutsu.

Sakura kept stubbornly quiet, her breath was coming in short pants and the smell of blood was becoming stronger, apparently she didn't know how to heal herself.

"Mah. You know social etiquette demands that you answer my question," Kakashi couldn't help but tease the pink haired girl.

Sakura bit her lip before looking even more apprehensive. "Haruno Sakura, Chunin Corps kunoichi," she finally said, it wasn't an answer to his question but that didn't quite matter to Kakashi at the moment.

What the actual fuck?

CHUNIN CORPS kunoichi? Where the hell was the A-ranked medic nin that had been on her way to surpass her teacher in his universe and had no problem in taking on S-rank threats like Akasuna Sasori?

"Hatake Kakashi, S-rank missing nin. Nice to meet you," he answered cheerfully while he tried to come to terms that this world's Sakura apparently wasn't Tsunade's apprentice.

Sakura just grunted while she kept her eyes fully trained on him.

"So… where is your team?" Kakashi asked idly into the tense silence.

Sakura kept stubbornly silent.

"Mah how rude and here I thought you were a cute little baby Chunin. Outpost run then?" Kakashi tagged nonchalantly onto the end of his sentence.

At that Sakura tensed again, Bingo. So she was on a message run. Still she should have at least another three shinobi with her. Chunin corps shinobi weren't sent out alone this far from Konoha, especially not after an invasion.

Kakashi waited for a moment patiently if Sakura changed her mind but the kunoichi stayed stubbornly silent.

"Well okay then," Kakashi finally said with a slightly annoyed sigh and stepped forward.

Instantly the teenager tensed again and lifted the kunai in her hand slightly higher.

"Come on, if I wanted to harm you I would have already done it."

The amusement was back in his voice though now he also felt somewhat concerned, Sakura's wound was still bleeding, one of the kunai had to have hit something at least semi important. Sakura still looked suspiciously at Kakashi but didn't move any further. With an obvious sigh Kakashi finally took the last few steps into grabbing distance. Sakura was now so tense that he was seriously concerned about her pulling a muscle.

With the copy nin being so close his patience finally reached its limit. Normally he would have happily continued to tease Sakura a bit but at the moment she was injured and losing quite a lot of blood. With a movement that was too fast for her he removed the kunai from her hand before he clapped down on the injured leg that she had kicked in his direction on instinct. Carefully Kakashi shifted his grip on that leg and examined the wound on the upper tight. His sense of smell was picking up an anti-coagulant… just great.

With some firm pushes and tugs he lowered her on the ground and removed his first aid kit from the storage seal on his left wrist. All that was done while he easily fended off the somewhat frantic freeing attempts of Sakura. It would have probably been funny on any other day but Kakashi wasn't feeling it right now. His female student… or well a version of his student was injured and in need of help and didn't trust him enough to accept his assistance and he couldn't feel any other chakra signatures in a fifteen mile radius. They were truly alone for the moment.

Kakashi continued to study Sakura while he firmly wrapped a bandage above her wound to prevent any further blood loss. She was now getting pale and that concerned him quite a bit.

"The weapon you were hit with was laced with something. I'm betting on an anti-coagulant laced with something else. How are you feeling? Dizzy, hot, cold?"

"Why do you care?" Sakura asked tiredly while she watched Kakashi out of half closed eyes.

It was clear the repercussions of the fight were catching up with her.

"Mah, I have a bit of a weakness for brash little brats like you. Taking on a team of missing nin alone? I can't let you bleed out here before you turn into a half decent ninja, can I?

"Apparently not," Sakura answered tiredly back.

With a gentle grip he put his hand on her forehead and tested her temperature.

"You are running a fever… that's not good."

The pink haired teenager could only hum half heartedly now.

"Well time to go," Kakashi finally decided and easily lifted the near unconscious kunoichi into his arms.

Sakura didn't have the strength to protest anymore… not good.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Heno Heno Moheji**

**Beta’d by Black Sparrow**

Tsunade felt a headache coming, how long had she been working on that damn paperwork? And now an ANBU operative had dropped by, just great.

"Chunin Haruno was found unconscious a few hours ago close to the ANBU outpost 35," the masked shinobi said without greeting or any other platitudes.

"Wasn't that the kunoichi that was separated from her team on the outpost run? What happened?" Tsunade asked curious, she could vaguely remember the mission report and some Chunin Corps members.

"We aren't sure yet… she had a note on her person though… it's from Hatake Kakashi."

"WHAT? Well give it to me!" Tsunade barked impatiently.

_To ANBU outpost 35,_

_I found something that belonged to you and decided to return it. Little pink haired Baby Chunins really shouldn't run around in the big bad world without the right kind of backup, they could trip over Iwa missing nin for example. Tell Sakura-chan to pick up some medical jutsu and work on her taijutsu or at least pick up another weapon._

_PS: That Genjutsu on the fifth window could use some work and the traps between the sixth and seventh tree to the right have apparently not changed since I left, you guys are getting predictable._

_Heno Heno moheji_

"That fucking brat is making fun of us!" Tsunade grounded out caught between disbelief and anger… and had he really signed that note with a scarecrow sign?

"What is Haruno's condition?"

"She is still fighting the after effects of a poison/ anti-coagulant mixture of unknown origin. The medic that saw to her said that her body holds traces of a standard anti-venom in her blood stream and that the wound was expertly taken care of. Her body didn't show signs of sexual penetration, forced or otherwise. The only other ailment is her nearly completely exhausted chakra system; she had been apparently running on fumes for the last few days."

Tsunade's brow creased, something niggled in her mind.

"Can you please bring me the mission report of her team," she said to Shizune before she turned back to the ANBU in front of her. "That's all… oh and have somebody check over the traps around the ANBU outposts and whatever Hatake meant with that Genjutsu."

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

Tsunade sat back down on her chair behind her working desk; something was off about this mission. Didn't those Chunin say that they lost her when they had been separated by missing nin on their way back to Konoha? Why the hell did she then have chakra exhaustion for at least a few days beforehand? The more she thought about it the more she became angry; those Chunin had lied to her. Already frustrated about the humiliation she had felt thanks to Hatake's note Tsunade didn't feel very charitable and assigned a Yamanaka mind reader to Haruno's teammates. She wanted to know what had happened and she felt slightly vindictive.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Clothes**

“Hhn.”

Kakashi studiously ignored the Uchiha while he made his way through the streets.

“Why are we here?” Sasuke finally verbalized his question after his nonverbal prompts had been ignored for nearly an hour.

“To get you new clothes.”

“… my clothes are fine.” The black haired teenager said somewhat dumbfounded.

Kakashi sent a deliberate look at the open shirt, blue cloth around his hips and corded purple belt.

“What you are wearing may have been appropriate while under Orochimaru’s tutelage but I DO have to maintain a certain reputation… and that doesn’t include my student running around in drag.”

Beside him Sasuke stumbled.

“…what?”

Inwardly Kakashi gleefully cackled, oh he had been waiting to say that to Sasuke’s face since the first pictures of him in Sound clothing had circulated in the ANBU forces. Really, what had he been thinking? If you had no idea how to dress yourself stick to the regular uniform… though the Sound one was exceptionally ugly it wouldn’t be seen as Sasuke’s bad taste in clothing… well mostly. Or go get help from a shop assistant! That’s what the ninja in Konoha did… what KAKASHI did until he learned through watching and listening the basic do’s and don’ts of fashion.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Why do a lot of you think that Naruto is dead?

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**Naruto**

**Beta’d by Black Sparrow**

It hadn't been his intention. Really!... Oh who was he kidding. Kakashi had been waiting for years now to finally see the blonde knucklehead again. So when he had felt Naruto's chakra signature in the small town he had run his errands in, he couldn't resist checking up on his alternative sensei's son, especially because he didn't sense Jiraiya's signature anywhere.

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The missing nin sometimes seriously loved his luck, Naruto had just entered the blacksmith shop. It was the same weapon shop he had commissioned Sasuke's katana in. Kakashi hadn't picked it up yet because he was waiting for the rest of his order to be finished, quality weapons were after all hard to find outside the hidden villages. And so he entered the weapons shop cheerfully in which Naruto was browsing the brass knuckles and chakra blades… interesting. 

"Ah Hatake-san. You are just on time, I have finished your order yesterday evening," the blacksmith in his late forties said.

And wasn't that strange? Since living the life of a missing nin he had started to be punctual again, it was driving him crazy!

"My thanks Nagasaki-kajiya," Kakashi answered politely and gave an appropriate bow to the elder man.

He normally didn't bother with such formalities but Kakashi knew as a warrior and especially as a ninja, that you don't anger the one that creates your weapons. That kind of mistake could cost you your life after all. So he waited patiently while Nagasaki-san arranged the weapons that Kakashi had ordered on the counter. This was also a good way to separate the good blacksmiths from the bad and mediocre. The real good ones presented you with each and every weapon and only after you had given approval to one you received the next for inspection.

With deliberate slowness Kakashi worked through the assortment of kunai, shuriken, knifes and garrotes. He had spent a bit more than four assassination missions on that steel in front of him, but with Sasuke as his student now he was expecting an increase in hunter nins and bounty hunters, after all the Uchiha bloodline had to be a tempting target for more than one shinobi village.

Behind him he could feel Naruto becoming curious, a moment later something had to have clicked in his brain because suddenly he yelled.

"OI! You are that teme that Sasuke-teme is now training under!"

Kakashi had to suppress a laugh, trust Naruto to be blunt.

The old smith in front of Kakashi looked annoyed at the blonde Konoha shinobi but before he could say anything he had caught sight of Kakashi's face who winked at him and slowly turned around to face Naruto.

"Mah, mah. You do know that it is exceedingly rude to yell in a shop."

The blonde shinobi looked for a moment confused before he continued in righteous anger, "Don't try to distract me! Give Sasuke-teme back!"

"Oh? I wasn't aware that Sasuke-chan had a boyfriend…" the silver haired missing nin answered back innocently.

Kakashi couldn't help himself, he knew that both Sasuke and Naruto were straight… well as far as he was aware… but that didn't stop him to insinuate the contrary. They were now at an age where that kind of jokes weren't as inappropriate as back when they had been thirteen… during their D-rank missions Kakashi had sometimes mourned the fact that they were still too young for that kind of teasing, they had given him so many opportunities.  
Naruto turned pale before he turned first green and then red. Kakashi watched fascinated as the Uzumaki in front of him went to several different expressions in front of him while Naruto's brain tried to understand what Kakashi had just insinuated. Out of the corner of his eye Kakashi also noticed the slightly amused mien of Nagasaki-san.

"… I think I'm going to be sick," came the whiny response a few moments later.

Naruto looked like he had been kicked in the stomach and then in the face.

With the blonde teenager still occupied Kakashi ran his hands over the next few weapons on the counter and watched in satisfaction as the edge split one of his hairs in two parts. Nagasaki was a superb blacksmith.

"I didn't mean it like that. Sasuke-teme is my teammate, give him back to Konoha!" Naruto kept on whining while he stared holes into Kakashi's back.

Instead of an answer Kakashi just hummed and continued to sort through the weapons.

"Hey!..." but Naruto couldn't finish the sentence. 

The silver haired missing nin had seen that Nagasaki-san's patience for the shouting teenager ran thin.

"It's rude to shout in a shop. Especially in a weapon shop when your interlocutor is in the middle of testing weapons. Go back to those brass knuckles you have been eyeing beforehand, when I'm finished we can talk," Kakashi said in a firm tone.

He was aware that Naruto really shouldn't be listening to a missing nin, but he relied on Naruto's stubbornness and his inert willingness to see the good in everyone to shut up and do what he said. That he also spoke in the same kind of tone that Iruka-sensei used to get Naruto to heel, couldn't hurt either. And so Kakashi noted satisfied that his sensei's son moved back to the display cabinets and pouted while his eyes returned suspiciously to Kakashi's back, now and then. The missing nin finished his inspection uninterrupted and then paid the small fortune without batting an eye. He may have had a penny-pinching reputation in his Universe but that had more to do with the secret pleasure he had felt when he had made his comrades pay for his meals and drinks, than anything else.  
  
Once he had sealed everything away he turned and walked over to the now tense Naruto, apparently he had had a bit of time to think the situation over. Finally! Kakashi could only think sardonically when he came to a halt beside the tense blonde. 

"So… what are you looking for?" Kakashi asked idly while he tried to relax the blonde a bit.

Naruto looked mutinously before he shrugged his shoulders in a non-answer… teenagers.

"Ero-senn… my teacher has been teaching me hand to hand kata, but I kinda want to learn a weapon too..."

"Ah… no swords?" Kakashi tried to clarify curiously.

His Naruto had never made it known that he would like to use a weapon other than kunai and the odd shuriken.

"Nah, I'm pants with swords," came the blunt answer.

Kakashi snorted before nodding and grabbing one of the chakra blades that reminded him of Asuma.

"Those are probably your best bet. They conduct your chakra and with enough training you can manifest chakra blades around them… with the chakra stores you have keeping those up won't be a problem." 

"Hhm… wait how do you know that I have a lot of chakra?" Naruto asked suspiciously.

Kakashi snorted and eye smiled at Naruto. "Uzumakis have naturally big stores. Your mother was a chakra monster, she could spit out jutsus for hours on end."

Naruto stiffened beside him. "My… mother?"

"Uzumaki Kushina. Dark violet eyes, fire red hair. Nicknamed the Akai Chishio no Habanero … you have her face."

Kakashi watched as Naruto's face became blank, he hadn't intended to say what he had said right now but… Naruto deserved to know who his parents were… and he wasn't under the threat of becoming a traitor to Konoha. After all he already was one.

"Uzumaki Kushina…" Naruto trailed off somewhat unsure.

"She was an A-ranked kunoichi in the last Shinobi war with a pretty high bounty. Your existence has been kept quiet to reduce the chance of a bloodline theft; you are one of the last existing Uzumaki in the Elemental Nations."

"You knew her pretty well," Naruto said somewhat disbelieving.

"She was the wife of my sensei," Kakashi answered blandly.

Naruto's eyes became impossibly wide. "My father?" 

"Not here. Do you like those?" Kakashi deflected and indicated to the chakra blades which Naruto had been absentmindedly handling since Kakashi had started to talk about Kushina.

"Yeah… but they are too expensive." He sighed defeated.

Kakashi chuckled and plucked them out of his hands before walking over to the counter. Additionally he bought some sheaths that would enable Naruto to fixate them on his belt. Once he had paid he motioned Naruto to follow him to a Ramen stand where they purchased some bowls to go. Their short walk outside the village was done in silence and Kakashi made a quick note to admonish Naruto later on for just following a missing nin out of populated places. Really the blonde had no concept of danger.

Kakashi let himself fall against a tree and patted at the place beside him, after a short moment of hesitation Naruto followed him down and stared absentmindedly at his Ramen.

"My dad was your sensei?" he asked strangely subdued after the first few bites.

"Hhm. He was more than that… he practically raised me since I was eight," Kakashi admitted.

He had never had the opportunity back in his Universe to tell Naruto about Minato-sensei, about how truly special the man had been. Both the S-rank secret and his own intense need for privacy and space had stopped him… but he wouldn't miss that opportunity here.

"Who was he?"

"Namikaze Minato, S-ranked Jounin with a specialization in both Fuuton and Fuinjutsu… and a pretty high bounty."

"My parents were awesome," Naruto said with a nearly heartbreaking gentle smile.

"And they loved you," added the silver haired missing nin warmly.

They really had. Kakashi could still remember how over the moon both Minato and Kushina had been when they had found out. A glance at their son made Kakashi tactfully look away while a tear or two ran down Naruto's face.

"They died during the Kyuubi attack then," Naruto tried to clarify with a somewhat wobbly voice.

"Yes… though that you are a Jinchuuriki is not an accident Naruto." The Hatake's voice had become a bit more somber.

It was time that Naruto knew about this, that he was a bit more prepared should anyone ever try to use his heritage and the tragedy around his birth against him.

Beside him the blonde tensed. "How do you know that I have the fox?"

"All of the older generations are aware, only the younger ones don't know."

Naruto's eyes became wide before he bit his lip. "You said something about me being a Jinchuuriki is not an accident?"

"You inherited the Kyuubi from your mother… and before her Uzumaki Mito had him. She was the wife of the Shodaime."

"Mum was a Jinchuuriki?... but why did he escape? Was it because of me?"

"Nobody knows… everyone who participated in your birth died and by die I mean somebody rammed a weapon through them… and don't be ridiculous, Uzumaki Mito also gave birth as a Jinchuuriki and didn't release the Kyuubi. No, somebody interfered. Though I have no idea who, but they had to be very, very powerful." 

"Why did nobody ever tell me about my parents?"

"The Sandaime made your parentage a S-rank secret and told those that were close to your parents to keep away from you for your protection. Konoha was in a pretty delicate situation back then, had anybody known that you were the child of the Habanero and the Yondaime it would have started up another war… one that Konoha would most likely have lost."

"Wait, WHAT? The YONDAIME was my FATHER?" Naruto cried out shocked.

Kakashi felt his eyebrow rise. "Yes? Minato-sensei was the fourth… I had thought you got that when I said his name."

Naruto blushed and cleared his throat, "I never paid much attention to names…"

The silver haired missing nin snorted and sighed, "You may have sensei's coloring but you are your mother's son."

"…and his element."

"Element… you are a Fuuton user?"

"Yeah, I even learned the Raseng… that bastard! Ero-Sennin knew who my father was. He told me that it was the attack of the Yondaime!"

"Jiraiya taught you that technique? That you can use the Rasengan is impressive, it took me nearly a month to learn it."

"Ha, I beat you. I learned it in a week."

Kakashi laughed and gently patted Naruto on the head, "Color me impressed."

Naruto tensed for a moment before relaxing into the touch.

"I… you are pretty nice… why did you leave Konoha?"

"Ah…"

Inwardly Kakashi panicked a bit, what should he say now? He himself had no idea why his other version had deflected, only that it was shortly before the Uchiha massacre going after the date in the Bingo book. He really didn't want to lie to Naruto.

"… I don't actually remember."

Naruto looked annoyed. "You could have just said that you don't want to tell me."

"Hhm… so up to learning how to use chakra blades?"

"Really?" Naruto asked excitedly and jumped onto his feet.

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Kajiya - blacksmith

 


	11. Chapter 11

That was really hard to write.

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**Change of plans**

**Beta’d by Black Sparrow**

Obito wasn't quite sure what he should think about the dead bodies of Orochimaru and Kabuto in his pocket dimension. On one hand, Annoying! Because this meant Bakashi was now able to activate Kamui too and Obito would have to be more careful from now on. On the other hand, he had just received the Akastuki ring from Orochimaru back… and there was still that thing with him having to run around the pocket dimension and destroy the last of Orochimaru's creepy little soul snakes… Obito wasn't sure if he found that frustrating or thought that it was a good way to relieve some stress…

Though now that Orochimaru was dead it also meant that the reanimation backup plan that he had been playing half-heartedly around with had finally been obliterated. Obito sighed, well that was Kakashi for you, always destroying his hard work. Though even while he thought that he couldn't really build up any anger against his former teammate… for that he was too aware what time had done to him. Kakashi was… not the shinobi he had once been but a broken shell that went through the motions. Obito had to admit that when he had first realized how truly broken Kakashi was some seven odd years after releasing the Kyuubi he had felt vindictively satisfied… though that feeling had lasted all but two days until he realized that should it ever come to an open confrontation between Obito and the world he tried to subjugate, Kakashi wouldn't be the rival and former teammate he once had been. In the wake of THAT realization Obito had obliterated whole parts of the Mountain graveyard, that furious he had been. The Uchiha had felt cheated out of his rightful vengeance. Now years later he could barely look at the broken state of his former teammate.

And then Hatake Kakashi had defected from Konoha.

It was so unbelievable that Obito himself had taken over the surveillance on the silver haired ninja for the following weeks after he had checked out that fuck up with the Uchiha clan. Because while Madara had wanted him to, Obito hadn't really intended to eradicate the clan. Yes they were fuckers and yes they could go to hell but Obito was confident that the power of the ten tails would be able to resist the Sharingan, no matter what Madara had ranted about making sure. After all once their Moon Genjutsu came into effect, none of them would be able to do anything anyway. So yeah that massacre came a bit out of the left field for him, though he had to give Danzo credit where credit was due, having their own heir do the slaughtering with only a few Root shinobi as backup was another level of horrifying. Obito hated to admit it but he was kind of in awe of that kind of cruelty… hey he never said that he wasn't a sadistic fucker only because he didn't see the sense in immediately massacring his own family out of a vague suspicion.

Anyway during one of the nights following Kakashi's defection Obito had cast a Genjutsu on the sleeping shinobi. Now Obito wasn't bad in Genjutsu, he was fucking terrifying for normal standards but he also knew that his skills would have never worked on a healthy Kakashi. The Uchiha just had the luck that the silver haired Jounin was so emotionally exhausted that it was relatively easy for Obito to slip into his dreams and just observe his mental state.

It was a sad place, even worse than his own mind and that actually meant something. Obito noticed that it consisted more out of instincts, paranoia and flashbacks than actual thoughts.

It was here also that he learned about what truly happened all those years ago when Rin died.

His Rin, the light of his life had committed suicide via Kakashi.

When he had found that out he had to Kamui away or he would have given himself away. Rin had killed herself and saddled Kakashi with the trauma of being responsible for not only one but both deaths of his teammates. Obito Uchiha, the clumsy idiot that had been part of Team 7 had after all died when he had been partially crushed under that rock. Obito still wasn't sure what he should think about Rin doing that to Kakashi. There was killing yourself to save the village and then there was throwing yourself onto a technique of your teammate without any warning…

And then after a few weeks of wallowing in self-pity about his destroyed world view he had revisited the memory in his head and had taken a close look at the ninja that had chased Kakashi and Rin… Mist ninja.

Madara had manipulated him… well fuck… he had seen that coming in one way or other because he was an old bitter man but Obito hadn't expected the old Uchiha to have orchestrated Rin's death… now what do you do when you find out that the plan you have been realizing for over a decade and to which you have sacrificed your sensei, his wife and a good part of your former village had only become necessary because Uchiha Madara manipulated you into doing what he wanted?

…

That hadn't been a good time for Obito, he had left Akatsuki and Mist to Pain and his Mist marionettes and had destroyed a few dozen islands in the sea before breaking down and wallowing in guilt for the first time in nearly ten years… it had been an experience.

In the end he had decided against completely scratching Madara's moon eye plan. It WAS a good solution to the problem no matter how you looked at it. So most of his plans didn't change but there was one crucial difference. Madara could forget about being called back to life, that fucker could rot in hell for all he cared.

This incident also changed Obito's anger about Rin's death; the blame was now solidly laid at Madara's feet… and Kakashi? Well in his mind Konoha was responsible for destroying his other teammate.

After that revelation Obito had left Kakashi to his own devices, it didn't seem as if he would have too many problems even with most of his mind gone… stupid genius. Instead the Uchiha had put a Zetsu clone up to keep an eye out for Kakashi now and then and redirected hunter nin that were after him from time to time, but that was it… Obito wasn't sure if he could take it if he became invested into this broken Kakashi only for him to get himself killed somehow.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Tears**

**Beta’d by Black Sparrow**

When Jiraiya tracked down his wayward student he instantly knew that something was wrong.

The brat wasn't shouting at him or eating Ramen like he had done on any other day. Instead he had stared down at something in his hands, his face blank… and were those red eyes? Did Naruto cry? The white haired Sannin was starting to become nervous; he didn't like to see his student like that, what the hell had actually happened while he was away?

"Naruto?" he asked carefully.

Naruto just nodded half-heartedly in his direction but didn't say anything.

"Hey, brat. Are you alright?" Jiraiya asked surprisingly gentle while he carefully put a hand on the teenagers shoulder.

"Namikaze Minato, huh…" he finally said still somewhat teary.

Jiraiya felt himself stiffen. "How did you?"

"I ran across Hatake Kakashi," he answered still listlessly.

With a quick tug Jiraiya had the blonde boy in front of him and carefully moved his head so that he had to look into his face.

"What happened, are you injured?"

The Sannin was close to a panic attack, he had left his student alone for less than two hours and he had an encounter with another S-rank missing nin? Kami-sama and Hatake? That silver haired little brat of Minato that had defected five years ago? What the hell had Kakashi done to Naruto that he looked so down.

"Is it true then… were Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina my parents?"

"…yes…" what else could he have said?

"Oh… and they really loved me?" this question was asked in an even more vulnerable tone.

"They were really looking forward to becoming parents," Jiraiya confirmed.

"Ah…" Naruto just grunted before tears started to run down his face which he wished away with an arm.

Jiraiya bit his lip, he wasn't one for mushy stuff but Naruto apparently needed contact. With a still hesitant movement he pulled the boy closer and then engulfed him in a hug. Naruto was now really sobbing and his body shook with each breath.

"They would be really proud Naruto." He couldn't help but continue to reassure Minato's kid while he looked up into the sky.

You did well Minato, Kushina. Naruto is a good kid and he will be an even better man.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Bullying**

**Beta’d by Black Sparrow**

The result of the mind reading of the Chunin team made Tsunade feel sick. It was one of the worst cases of ninja mobbing she had ever heard of.

Haruno's teammates had made it their goal to turn the young teenager off of her ninja career. They had even placed bets on how long she could take it until she quit. They had forced her to complete the lion's share of the last four back to back missions and had systematically tried to destroy her confidence… though only with moderate success. Haruno was a stubborn kunoichi that had more guts and courage than many ninja her age.

Her so called comrades' latest attempt to discourage her from her chosen career would have turned out fatal for her if Hatake hadn't interfered. What did that say about Konoha that a Chunin kunoichi was safer in the company of a missing nin than her own teammates?

Intrigued about that kind of perseverance Tsunade dug deeper and came onto her Genin team. She had been teammates with Naruto until the team had been disbanded when the Uchiha brat had defected and Jiraiya had taken Naruto away for the Jinchuuriki's protection. Haruno had been dropped by her former sensei like a hot coal after the prestigious part of Team 7 had turned traitor and the kunoichi had searched out other shinobi to get her abilities up to par. She than managed to snag a field promotion when her temporary Genin team had been nearly killed on an escort mission four months ago. Since then she had been exposed to the malicious intent of the Chunins that had been of the opinion that a first generation kunoichi with pink hair had no right to be part of the Konoha corps.

Ninja regulations seemed to have been grossly disregarded for years if something like this could happen and apparently occurred on a regular basis. Sakura had not been the first victim of that particular group.

Tsunade clenched her fist. She couldn't accept that kind of careless disregard for a fellow ninja's life. Those three Chunin would serve as example of what happened if one of the fundamentals of the villages wasn't heeded. Konoha was known for their teamwork and camaraderie for a reason and Tsunade would take great pleasure of tearing down those fuckers that had dared to trample on her grandfather's legacy like that.

And Haruno… well there weren't a lot of kunoichi's like that out there. If she turned out to be at least half as smart as Tsunade thought, the Sannin would think about taking her on herself. She needed a distraction after all; all paperwork and no play would turn her sooner or later into a frustrated old biddy. No thanks!

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Promotion**

**Beta’d by Black Sparrow**

It had been more of a lucky accident than true skill or a brilliant mind.

Sakura had been so caught up in her own mind during that simple C-rank mission that her gaze glanced over the caravan behind her instead of the surroundings. It was then that she noticed the civilian secretary of their client move decidedly uncivilian. It was just for a short second but that landing on the street had been too perfectly balanced and most importantly too silent for that woman to be somebody untrained in the ninja arts.

The Sakura that had graduated from the Academy and been stuck on a Team with Sasuke and Naruto would have instantly looked for Sasuke, who at that time would have already noticed the discrepancies and prepared himself for an attack.

The Sakura that had participated in the Chunin exams and who had gotten a place in the finals only to be practically useless during the invasion after Shino had drained her of most of her chakra reserves would have probably tensed and given herself away. Which would have subsequently led to her and her team getting killed by her behavior.

The current Sakura though did neither of those things; instead she just continued her leisure walk in the middle of the caravan while she tried to make out who else was more than just a civilian in their travel group. She knew that she could rely on her mind to spot someone suspicious now that she was aware that something was going on. After all it had been her intelligence that had given her an additional year as a regular Genin that was to be rotated between other Genin teams instead of punting her off right away into the regular Genin Corps in which those ninja landed that hadn't managed to graduate to Chunin by their eighteenth birthday or were dropped by their Jounin sensei.

That would have most likely put a stop on any chance of advancement for Sakura. The pink haired girl had been told those facts straight to her face when after the Chunin exams she had gone to the ninja administration for a new team assignment. Since then she had trained like the desperate kunoichi that she was to prove herself worthy of a Chunin promotion and secure her career. Like hell she would spend the rest of her service years as a Genin.

Long story short Sakura intercepted an attack of two missing nin on her current client and her teammates. She injured the enemy kunoichi nearly fatally when the woman turned on Sakura's employer and then got injured by pushing one of her older Genin teammates out of the way of a crippling blow. Sakura had then also been able to injure the second ninja enough so that her Jounin team leader could take him down with little difficulty.

The wound that she had received from that altercation was thankfully shallow but ran from her left temple to her throat over her cheek. It had missed every important part of her face and didn't hinder her facial movements too much. They had bandaged up the wound as best as they could before finishing the mission and returning to Konoha. By the time they had returned back to the village the wound had already begun to heal and when she had finally gotten the chance to have it looked over at the hospital the medics could do nothing but continue that process. Sakura would be scarred for the rest of her life.

At least her actions had brought her the desperately Chunin promotion she had been working so hard for.


	15. Chapter 15

**Training**

**Beta’d by Black Sparrow**

"Why do we have to do that again?"

Sasuke grounded out while he carefully balanced his weight between his right arm and legs. The other one searched for any kind of indention on which he could lever himself up on the chakra resistant wall.

"Mah don't be such a spoilsport Sasuke-chan," Kakashi pouted beside him.

The silver haired shinobi watched gleefully as the Uchiha twitched at the -chan, teasing this Sasuke was even more fun than he had thought it would be. Apparently whoever had been his Genin sensei in this universe had treated the Uchiha like 'the last Uchiha' and not like a 12 year old Genin brat.

"What does this have to do with training?" the black haired teenager asked frustrated.

"Chakraless stealth and recon training," Kakashi cheerfully whispered while they continued to creep up the wall.

And that exactly was what it was; Kakashi was putting Sasuke through the Konoha ANBU standard curriculum… well the special Hatake variation. At the moment Sasuke may still be only on high Chunin, low Jounin level but with the rapid advancements Kakashi had seen in the last few weeks he expected to change that soon.

"But do we have to prank that yakuza? Couldn't we just assassinate him?" Sasuke asked nearly desperately.

"Where would be the fun in that?"

The silver haired S-class missing nin had to admit to himself that they were only doing that because he wanted to see Sasuke squirm but hey, it was his right as sensei… more or less.

"Fun? Why does it have to be fun?" the teenager asked disbelieving.

"Have you never just done something for the sheer pleasure of seeing someone squirm? Tze, tze only work and no play make Sasuke-chan a dull boy… well if you still need an excuse than see it as proactive psychology training. You will now have the opportunity to watch firsthand how paranoid people react to a flawless break in."

"Hhn," Sasuke just kept glaring at Kakashi who beamed cheerfully back.

Inwardly Kakashi promised himself that he would remove that stick from Sasuke's ass or die trying. It was high time that someone was staging an intervention for the Uchiha.

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Becoming a missing nin**

**Beta’d by Black Sparrow**

Ran was… not sure of her latest infiltration mission. Well she WAS sure that she could pull it off but… the orders that had been given to her were a bit weird. She was twenty three and could say without sounding conceited that she already belonged to the top five long time infiltrators Konoha currently had. Until a month ago she had been living in Grass, working as a Chunin medic nin and gathering information. The brunette kunoichi with the light blue eyes had been doing this since her thirteenth birthday when she had been given the mission to infiltrate Grass and become a part of the village to pass along information. Ran had kept her name but her existence as Konoha citizen had been eradicated and instead her files now showed her as a former citizen of one of the smaller hidden villages that had been eradicated shortly before she left Konoha for her long time mission. Since then she had run missions as a Grass Genin and later on Chunin, mostly in-village. Every four to six months she had left her gathered Intel in one of the many drop points around the hidden village and received additional information and orders through the same way.

Four months ago she had then been given the order to slowly break off the interaction with the other Grass nin and wait for an opportune moment to leave the village. Her next assignment was to play a Grass missing nin named Ran. Her objective was to find out as much information about the missing nin population in the Elemental Countries and especially Hatake Kakashi.

Now leaving Grass hadn't been that hard as it sounded, yes she had lived there ten years of her life and you would think that Ran would have gone native long ago but… there was one fundamental difference between Konoha and Grass and that was how the individual was treated by the superiors. In Konoha at least you could be certain that your superiors treated you with a certain respect and when you were ordered to do something you had at least the illusion that you weren't forced to do it. Grass was… a lot more military and refusing an order would lead to harsh punishment or even death. So no, Ran had no problems leaving the casual acquaintances and coworkers that she had made behind. Don't get her wrong, there had been good memories and successes that she had experienced there and to those she would probably think back fondly but she wasn't heartbroken that she had to leave. Additionally to that Grass had also given her a perfect reason for her becoming a missing nin. In the last twelve months she had been moved to the breeding program as an assistant to one of the leading medics there.

The breeding program was exactly what it sounded like, disgusting and half of its 'patients' weren't there by their own freewill. It was Ran's duty to care for the newly born babies after they had been taken away from their mothers. Seventy percent were cute and cuddly but the last thirty had either already developed features that marked them as Kekkei Genkai users or… were deformed in one way or another. That was probably the worst thing on the job, Ran had to take care of them until they were 'sorted' into successes and failures. Ran purposely didn't think about what they were doing to the failures but she still had a good idea. She was really glad that she was finally getting out of there.

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Being a missing nin had turned out to be fucking hard! Ran had no idea where to find work, who was safe to be around and who she should avoid other than the obvious cases in the Bingo Books. Additionally the hunter nins from Grass were a lot peskier than she had expected. On the other hand, she had worked in the Breeding Program maybe she shouldn't be so surprised.

At the moment she had in a desperate act of fate tagged along with a former River country shinobi. She had been from one of the smaller unimportant villages and just had enough of going on Honey Pot missions. She was dark blonde with a pretty face and more curves than you expected on a kunoichi. Sachiko was about Chunin level if Ran was correct and specialized in poisons. She wouldn't be hard to counter if she attacked Ran whose medical abilities were easily Jounin level and while her Taijutsu had suffered while living in Grass it was still around low Jounin level enough to take the blonde down with few problems.

Sachiko had led them into one of the smaller farmer villages inland of Fang, an area she had never been before.

"Okay listen up! What I'm now going to show you is not something we should talk about around anyone… not even those that are aware of it, okay! It's one of the few safe havens for missing nin. Just to give you heads up there is a no fighting rule inside the building, break it and you are banned from it forever… and probably dead," the blonde hissed before she pulled Ran inside the plain looking farmhouse.

They were interrupting a family of five at dinner but the civilians did not even dignify their entrance with a look. Before Ran could open her mouth Sachiko pulled her along to one wall and tapped a chakra laced rhythm on the half visible brick halfway up of the wall. Underneath the Ran's curious eyes a genjutsu was lifted from what was a stairwell that led underground. As soon as the staircase was completely visible Sachiko moved Ran downstairs without another word.

The Konoha infiltrator followed the River missing nin through a few corridors before they stopped at a big door.

"Now remember what I told you, no fighting and no talking about this!" Sachiko reminded her before she pushed open the door.

The first thing that Ran noticed was the flowing music, something southern with a lot of rhythm and drums. It vibrated through her whole body while she looked around the room. It was a lot bigger than she had anticipated with a pretty high ceiling and tables and booths everywhere. Two bars on both sides of the room supplied the present ninja with alcohol and snack food. Oh and there were only missing nin present from all over the Elemental countries. They were dancing, drinking and playing cards… it felt pretty surreal to the Konoha infiltrator.

"Ohhh… perfect!" Sachiko suddenly said in a satisfied voice.

Ran followed her gaze and stopped disbelieving at the form of Hatake Kakashi… who was dancing a salsa? With a busty kunoichi from… Frost? She couldn't be too sure about the headband.

"Come on Ran-chan, let's get some drinks."

Ran's musings were interrupted and so she followed her temporary partner to a booth in the back of the room before ordering some cocktails from the waitress that had just popped up beside them.

"Now when the song ends I'm going to try to get Hatake's attention. You are pretty new and need every tip available in our business. Hatake is one of the veterans of our occupation, not many missing nin live more than a couple years after leaving a village, and from that small group only a few are approachable. Hatake is really the best option if you want to learn how to survive… he isn't always predictable but he has a bit of a weakness for kiddies."

"But I'm not a child, I'm twenty three."

"But you look like fifteen darling," Sachiko rebuked her mildly.

"Still… that's not going to work."

"He also fancies himself a gentleman, relax Ran as far as missing nin go, this one is one of the good ones. He is going to flirt a bit with you but he won't come on to you if you don't want it. He also doesn't attack kunoichi if possible," Sachiko placated her before jumping up and making her way over.

Ran was… really unsure how to react. She hadn't expected to come across Hatake so early in the game. She hadn't any time left to think about this more because suddenly Sachiko was back with said silver haired missing nin.

Hatake was… dangerously sexy.

That was the first thing that went through Ran's head. His last photo in Konoha had shown him in the standard uniform with a blue mask and his hitai-ate over his Sharingan. This Hatake was wearing olive colored combat pants with a lot of pockets that were more common in Bear Country than Konoha. A black, long sleeved sweater and underneath it was probably a mesh shirt. His face was covered with a thin black mask though at the moment he wasn't wearing his hitai-ate that normally hid his Sharingan. Instead his left eye was just closed and the red scar over that eye only gave him a more edgy look. His hair was standing up in every direction and gave him naturally bed hair. The only weapons that she could see were the thigh holster with four kunai and the pouch he was carrying on his belt.

Hatake seemed amused by the appraisal of his person and mockingly twirled where he was standing so that she could take a look at his back, his muscular thighs… and his ass. Ran felt her face heat up while Sachiko beside her catcalled.

"And your verdict?" Hatake asked cockily while he sat down beside Ran.

The infiltration specialist could only mumble and avoided eye contact.

"See what I mean? Right now she is too goody two shoes to make it long in this business," Sachiko complained from her other side.

Hatake just chuckled; it was a nice low noise that unconsciously let Ran relax although everything inside her screamed at her to not let her guard down around this man.

"So… you are pretty new at the whole missing nin business Sachiko-chan tells me."

"Yes," the brunette kunoichi admitted while she carefully reminded herself not to lie too obviously, according to the data she had received Hatake's senses would be able to pick up a lie easily.

"Well first of, don't assume you are safe, that's just the easiest way to get yourself killed. Set up some stashes around the Elemental that only you know about for emergencies. Also missing nin have an unspoken rule that they won't attack each other if they aren't on opposite sides of a mission, we already have so many enemies we don't need more. Oh and you should look into making contacts with other missing nin, sometimes you will need a partner for a mission. Another fun fact is that if we notice Hunter nin movements we warn each other, it's just polite to give each other heads up. Don't look at me so confused. Good manners are always appreciated, even or especially concerning missing nin, you never know when such a warning will save your life."

While Hatake talked a waitress had brought a small jug of sake and a cup without the silver haired missing nin having to flag one down.

"How do I find missions? I have been having trouble to find work."

This question had been burning at the tip of her tongue since Hatake had sat down.

"Low on cash then?"

Ran grudgingly nodded, it would be enough for another month or two if she stretched it but after that she would be out of money.

"What is your specialization?"

"I'm a Chunin medic," Ran reluctantly admitted, she was aware that this wasn't the most useful specialization in her new environment.

Strangely enough Hatake sat up at that and was now giving her his full attention.

"Really now." spoke the shinobi and sliced a kunai over his arm, "Heal that."

Ran looked horrified at the insane man in front of her before she quickly grabbed his arm and lit up her healing chakra. The wound was closed in less than ten seconds; it was thankfully only a shallow cut, was that man stupid?

"Hhm." Hatake flexed his hand and then nodded approvingly, "Good work and fast too... Fun fact Ran-chan, medic nins are a bit rare to come by in the missing nin community."

He then suddenly stood up and let out a moderately loud whistle, the room quieted nearly instantly.

"Sorry for the interruption," he said cheerfully, not at all nervous about the sudden attention on him, "I just wanted to give you a heads up. Ran-chan here is a medic nin formerly from Grass who is looking for work."

Suddenly Ran was the center of attention while the ninja around her began to mumble under their breaths.

"Looks like you just found work," the insane man beside her said cheerfully while he filled his cup again… when had he drunk the last one?

"Ran-san was it?" a voice asked from her right side.

When she turned a green haired shinobi in his twenties stood a few steps away from the table, close enough not to have to shout but far enough not to crowd her.

"Yes?"

"My name is Shinji; I would like to call on your services right now if that's possible."

"Sure," was Ran's somewhat incredulous answer.

"Have fun Ran-chan and do come back afterwards," Hatake called behind her while she followed the other shinobi out of the bar room.

At least of one thing she could be sure of now, Hatake really was as strange and unpredictable as the reports had said.

 


	17. Chapter 17

**New addition**

Kakashi had to suppress the giggle that wanted to break free from his throat. The cute little ANBU infiltrator in front of him was completely out of her depth. He didn’t know what her real name was, the last time he had seen her she had been called ANBU Dove. His team had extracted her from Grass after her deep cover had been broken when her Grass superior had caught her searching confidential files. When Kakashi’s team had broken her out her left arm had barely been attached and her face permanently disfigured, though the ANBU medic on his team had been able to save Dove’s arm she had retired from active service after that.

Right now she was a cute twenty something kunoichi that apparently was playing a Grass missing nin. He wasn’t sure if she was here because of him specifically but he knew that Konoha wouldn’t let such an opportunity pass by. Oh well not like he particularly minded to screw some more with Konoha’s intel organization. Ibiki and Inoichi had to hate him by now.

So while Ran-chan was playing medic in one of the back rooms Kakashi covertly questioned Sachiko-chan about the kunoichi.

“How good is she?”

“I’m sorry; I have no idea to be honest. I picked her up on my last trip through River. She had been looking for work and she just looked so down, I just couldn’t leave her there…”

“Picking up strays? Though I have to admit she DOES have the lost puppy quality.”

Sachiko snorted, “Hardly, I’m not you… I just felt sorry for her… and I really can’t keep babysitting her until she knows enough to not get herself killed, next month I have a job that takes me a bit further away.”

“Ah…” Kakashi nodded at that, then looked considering into his sake cup, “Well then, you won’t mind if I steal her for myself?”

Sachiko snorted disbelieving, “Don’t you have enough to do with that little Dojutsu user that you picked up? Uchiha, right? I heard that he is a bit of a brat… why did you do that by the way.”

Kakashi laughed at that “Yes, and I’m going to need her because of him… let’s just say he is an adorable stroppy kitten with tiny claws.”

“Not an answer but okay, let’s go with that.” Sachiko laughed mirthfully before becoming serious again, “So you will take Ran-chan under your wing then? What about your other medic, isn’t she going to be miffed?”

“Maki-chan? Don’t think so… I want to get some training in somewhere where we don’t run into Hunter teams every four miles. Maki won’t follow me there; she has too many regular clients so she will stay in her usual haunts.”

“Ah… so that’s why you are here and not on the coast line like normally, you were looking for a private medic for a few months… aren’t those horrendously expensive?”

“Yup, and you just delivered me one that will work for free for me while being under the impression that this is me showing her the ropes of being a missing nin.”

Sachiko laughed out loud, “You are an asshole Hatake, a charming, gorgeous one, but still an asshole.”

“Whoever started the ridiculous rumor that I’m the Gentleman under the missing nin is either delusional or stupid… but hey if it gives me an advantage, why not?”

“Hhm, but you have to admit that there is a bit truth in that rumor.”

Kakashi shrugged with his shoulders “Well… it depends on my mood… and how big a reaction I can draw.”

Sachiko just looked at Kakashi incredulous before muttering something under her breath.

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Pride**

“Who is that?” Sasuke grunted unimpressed when he was confronted with the kunoichi beside Kakashi.

Ran wasn’t sure what she should think or say when she came face to face with Konoha’s newest missing nin.

“That’s Ran-chan. She will tag along, she is just as much a baby missing nin as you are.”

“Che.” The Uchiha pressed out while he looked dismissively at the undercover ANBU.

Than he did something that was completely out of character from what she had gathered from his profile, he rolled his eyes and walked to the back of the room.

“You two play nice, I have to check something.” Hatake said cheerfully before he vanished into thin air.

Suddenly the atmosphere in the room was awkward and tense while they looked each other over. Ran had to admit that the Uchiha was very good looking, beautiful even from certain angles, though the scowl took several points off. He wore the same green cargo pants as Kakashi along with a dark grey sleeveless turtleneck that accentuated his pale skin and black hair and eyes, though other than his mentor Sasuke seemed to prefer combat sandals that went nearly up to his knees. As far as weaponry went the Uchiha seemed to prefer Hatake’s minimal style, there were a few hidden kunais here and there but the main weaponry, a katana was sitting on his hip.

A sigh drew Ran’s attention back up to Sasuke’s face.

“Sit down, that will take a while.” He grunted in her direction before he gestured at the small table on the other side of the room.

“Does he do that often?” ran couldn’t help but ask incredulous.

“Just vanish? Yeah, though mostly he takes out the hunter nin after us.” Came the bored reply.

“And you don’t help him.” in the next instant Ran bit her lip.

She was once again asking too invasive questions too early. Though she couldn’t help but be curious, from what she had taken from his psychological profile it had to rankle the teenager to not be part of a fight.

Instead of glaring at her the Uchiha just twitched unhappily.

“A piece of advice. Kakashi may like to play the fool most of the time but when he orders you to do something, you better obey…” he grounded out while he shivered.

Ran’s eyes went wide while she tried to figure out what Hatake had done to the Uchiha that the sullen and prideful boy warned her, a complete stranger against trying something.

Inwardly Sasuke twitched again, the newcomer didn’t need to know how Kakashi had reacted the first and only time Sasuke had tried to take on a hunter nin team when had been specifically told to stay back.   
After the silver haired missing nin had taken down the four Iwa nin with brutal efficiency he had rid the corpses off their supplies, burnt the bodies and then dragged Sasuke into a remote mountain region. He hadn’t spoken a word during the whole time they had spent there. Instead Kakashi had beaten the crap out of him during the better part of the month and most of the time these beatings had only stopped when Sasuke had lost consciousness from exhaustion. The experience was far from pleasant but Sasuke had learned a few important lessons during that month. Number one was that Hatake Kakashi was one scary mother fucker when pushed too far, he was on a power level that Sasuke hadn’t expected from a missing nin, S-rank or not. The second one was obedience, the Uchiha had literally gotten his head bashed in until he had learned to obey, or at least think twice before defying an order. And thirdly and most importantly Sasuke had found out that Hatake Kakashi knew the Uchiha’s limitations better than Sasuke himself did. The beatings were brutal, very painful and humiliating but never did Kakashi injure him so that he was unable to fight on the next day, not like Orochimaru had liked to do when he was annoyed.

So after nearly a month of this shinobi style spanking Sasuke had grudgingly and a bit remorsefully apologized for disobeying his mentor. For the first time in a really long while he had come to respect somebody and feel remorse for disobeying that person.

Kakashi had looked at him for a long time after he had awkwardly apologized before sighing and gently ruffling his hair. Sasuke had to admit that he had flinched for a second before allowing himself to relax in Kakashi’s touch. The week between the punishment and their return to what had been their normal routine before his disobedience had been a bit awkward but the Uchiha couldn’t say that he really regretted this experience, thinking back Sasuke could admit that he really had it coming.

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Learning**

Ran panted while she tried to keep the chakra flow steady.

“Good.” The deep and calm voice behind her encouraged before she felt Kakashi’s hands on her upper arms, “Lock your elbows into place and keep steady… good now let the water down, slowly.”

Ran panted with exhaustion while she struggled to do what the missing nin told her, the salt water she had been holding over her head slowly returned to the waves bellow them.

Within the first five days of their seclusion on the tropical island in the South Sea she had become involved in training.

You could say what you wanted about Hatake Kakashi, insane S-class missing nin or not he was an effective teacher. Well once you had the basics down, Ran had noticed that Kakashi was absolute rubbish at explaining the basic steps and had an easier time explaining the minute details of B-rank and above skills. It was kind of understandable; geniuses normally didn’t make good teachers for the basics, they had never struggled with those.

Tired Ran nearly lost her footing and only Kakashi’s hands on her arms held her upright.

“Deep breaths… you did good. A few more days of that and we can do some of the fun stuff.” He beamed cheerfully behind her.

Ran shuddered; they had different opinions about what was fun.

“How much chakra do you have left?” came a vaguely more serious question.

“Ugh, twenty percent… maybe?” Ran said tiredly.

“Good, go back and rest and eat. You are probably going to have to patch up Sasuke in two or three hours.” The last part was said dryly.

Ran gave him a weak smile before she slowly made her way in direction of the camp they had build on the cliffs on the south side of the island.

With a tired groan she flopped down onto her bed and took a swipe of the water bottle that sat beside it, her body was tired but her racing thoughts were keeping her awake. With a tired sigh she closed her eyes and her thoughts drifted to the last five weeks since she had started to travel with two of Konoha’s most famous missing nin.

They had set out nearly immediately to Suna after Ran had joined them. It was a zigzag way through Ishi (Stone Country) until they hit sand, from then on they ran from one water hole to the next. Ran and Sasuke received an intense practical demonstration of ANBU water conserving and retrieval tactics during that time as well as how to hide in the barren land. The track through the desert left her with more calluses than she ever had in her life and a nice dark tan. The Uchiha on the other hand just burned. Kami, she had to reverse his sunburn every second day and that even though he started to wear some better head gear and sun block after the first really bad one. It would have been funny if she had the energy to laugh. Between the forced march they were on and her regular healing sessions she was too tired to do even that.

Hatake was disgustingly chipper and energetic the whole time. He really had kage level stamina and chakra reserves. She hadn’t been allowed a glance at the Sharingan yet but from what she knew from the rumors the chakra drain even in its unused state had to be immense.

They had boarded a ship on Suna’s coast line that had brought them to Umi no Kuni (Sea Country) where they had bought a small sailing boat and Hatake had then shown them how to navigate the ocean with a sailing boat and use low level wind and water jutsu to increase their speed. Ran hadn’t learned this much useful tips and tricks since she had started out on her undercover mission. The sheer amount of knowledge about ninjutsu and its application to the smallest things was unbelievable and it was easy to get lost in that admiration for the silver haired Jounin.

She had to admit that she found it ridiculous hard to resist Hatake’s cheerfully charming and weird personality after only a few weeks. Hell she even felt guilty for keeping exact logs on what the man was teaching and telling them. The sheer amount of political information was staggering and a bit frightening; to know that one of their missing nins that had been gone from the village for years knew exactly what was going on at the moment.

But the worst thing was that Hatake Kakashi wasn’t a bad guy. Hell, he was a downright nice one, a role model for any Konoha ninja. If he hadn’t been a missing nin Ran would have loved to have him as a team captain or comrade. Hell she would have probably voted for him to become their next Hokage after the Sandaime. He had the charisma and the presence to become one. And now she really wanted to know why he defected. It had never been stated in the file she had received before she had left Grass.

Frustrated she turned onto her side and closed her eyes, she really should take Kakashi’s advice knowing Sasuke the idiot had done something stupid again and she would have to fix it.

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Meetings and Manners**

Kakashi found his wayward student in one of the clearings east of the village in a… rather compromising position.

Sasuke had Sakura-chan pinned to a tree and stared at the scar that marred her face now and was ignoring the Konoha team that had accompanied Sakura.

Asuma and his team were clearly contemplating murder if Kakashi went by the expressions they were wearing. Really the boy had apparently forgotten what was considered to be appropriate social interaction in the year he had spent with Orochimaru, just great. With a high speed movement Kakashi came between Sakura and Sasuke and with a causal hand movement he wacked the stupid boy over his head.

His well meant love tap may have had a bit too much force behind it because Sasuke went sprawling on the grass… oops. With a deep sigh Kakashi turned to the still apprehensive looking Sakura.

“Hi there Sakura-chan.” He said cheerfully.

The pink kunoichi just continued to stare at the downed Uchiha. Kakashi deliberately glanced at the dark haired teenager that was now standing up again and glaring at him murderously.

“Ah… please forgive the moron. I had him for less than four months and unfortunately I haven’t been able to break him of all of his bad habits yet.”

Behind them Shikamaru snorted in disbelief.

“Ah… you are Sakura-chan’s temporary team then?” Kakashi asked innocently.

His question wasn’t answered by the four confused and apprehensive looking Konoha shinobi, they were still in attack mode after Sasuke’s deplorable behavior. Oh well time to defuse the situation Hatake-style.

“I thought I showed you the basics of how you treat a woman.” He causally called down to his black haired student.

“Hhn… she is too young for you.” Sasuke said in a dead pan voice.

Apparently there was still some concern left for his teammate… good.

“Be that as it may she is still a woman. You don’t treat them like that unless you intend to kill or trap them, Sasuke-chan,” Kakashi made sure to make his voice extra annoying.

“It’s just Sakura,” came the somewhat petulant reply.

“No wonder you have no success with the ladies…” Kakashi lamented which in turn only elicited a vicious glare from Sasuke, behind them Asuma choked a bit.

“Hhn…” Sasuke grunted miffed before turning around and just leaving the clearing.

Kakashi sighed once more “I apologize again Sakura-chan. You are alright aren’t you? No Iwa-nin on your tail? Poisoned maybe?” Kakashi asked somewhat teasingly while he took a closer look at the kunoichi.

She had gained some muscle and also didn’t seem to be as tired as before, though she clearly was out of her depth in that situation. Oh and the probably biggest change was her clothing, she was now wearing the knee high boots that his Sakura had favored as well as a dark red sweater instead of the standard uniform but still no spandex shorts or medical skirt.

“Wait! Why did you save me the last time… and why are you nice to me?” Sakura called out when he was just about to leave.

Kakashi turned around once more and regarded her with an unreadable gaze before chuckling and gently ruffling her hair.

“Mah… I told you I have a weakness for brash little brats.” and with that he vanished to catch up with his student that had left the moment Kakashi had made movements to leave himself.

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Ran reclined in her beach chair, enjoying the evening breeze and took another sip from her sake. Beside her Kakashi was reading one of his dirty books, clad only in swimming trunks and that ridiculous face mask. His naked feet loosely stretched out in front of him and buried in the slowly cooling sand while they watched the sun sink into the ocean.

Kami-sama, moments like this she really understood the appeal of being a missing nin.

As long as they weren’t being hunted they could go wherever they wanted.

She let out a sigh and let her head roll back, life was good. They had just returned from a short mission not far from their island. They had taken care of some renegade pirates that had been hijacking ships of the local fisher men and merchants. The money was used to stock up on more supplies and increase Ran’s medical kit before they returned to their island. Sasuke had immediately walked off to do some more training but the two adults just relaxed at the beach after a quick and leisurely swim.

“Kakashi…”

“Hhm?”

“Why did you become a missing nin?”

There was a long pause before he answered and Ran already thought she had fucked up when he said, “I actually don’t know.”

And there was such a frank honesty in his words that Ran was actually thinking about believing him.

“How do you mean that?”

“I… well I woke up one day with a killer headache, none of my usual things and a scratched out headband… I have the vague sense that something concerning an ANBU mission went belly up and it was finally too much… to be honest I still am not sure if what I am is even approaching sane but well… I’m doing okay and missing nin life isn’t so bad.”

And then he grinned at her, “And fucking with shinobi, especially from Konoha is actually really therapeutic.”

Ran stared at the slightly older shinobi beside her.

Really?

Fucking hell, the worst part is that she was actually beginning to believe him.

What T&I would think about this?

Hell she really did want to be a fly on the wall when Inoichi-taicho and Ibiki-taicho get the report. That had some serious entertainment potential.

Fuck.

Hatake Kakashi was already rubbing off on her wasn’t he?


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Ran gasped for air while she was bent over with her head stuck between her legs and desperately trying to ease her stitching side. Normally that would be an easy chakra technique for a medic of her caliber but right now she was too exhausted to do anything but wheeze pathetically.

“You alright?” A barely winded Kakashi asked from her side, at least there was some sweat visible on his lower arms and he was breathing slightly faster.

Ran ignored the question and just continued to wheeze. They had just barely escaped not one, not two, but three hunter nin teams!!!

Ran just knew that this was the karmic retribution for actually enjoying herself two weeks ago on their island. That or for the fact that she now had the luxury of ‘owning’ a spacious stone house on a single island in the sea. Ran had had no idea that with creative use of douton jutsu you could build a house, Kakashi was really a genius in repurposing jutsus for other uses.

And now here they were in the semi stone desert on the edge of Suna, sweating like pigs after being pursued by several hunter nin that apparently had nothing better to do than band together and go after them!

“At the next water source we come across I’m going to take a bath, screw anything else.” She finally brought out still breathing hard.

Kakashi just cocked his head to the side before nodding, “Alright. I could do with a wash myself.” He added with a smirk.

Ran glowered. Smug bastard was barely out of breath and was definitely not sweating like a pig like she was.

The missing nin just chuckled at her face and then helped her onto her feet, “Come on. There are at least 40 miles between us and the hotel room we left Sasuke in. If we want a bath before that we have to go now.”

Ran grumbled again but followed him when he started to run at a slightly less neck breaking pace.

“You have gotten faster.” He said casually while he looked at her with a smile.

“Huh?” Ran asked confused, she sure didn’t notice it.

“Yup. You are at least solid Jounin-level by now. Good work.”

Ran sighed, she could never tell when Kakashi was serious or not.

XXXXXXXXXX

Ten minutes later Kakashi veered of his path and led them to a small oasis that had built itself around a sink hole and was fed by a small river from the direction of the Land of Rivers.

Ran sighed in longing this time but didn’t jump into it without opening her senses and taking in her surroundings, she couldn’t feel any kind of living creature other than insects and some amphibians around here but she wasn’t so sure, those kind of water holes always attracted predators or worse snakes.

“Nothing that will bite you is here.” Kakashi finally said in amusement beside her, he too had searched the area for possible threats.

Right. Better senses.

Ran sent him one glance and then shrugged. Hatake had never made any overtures about her paying ‘rent’ in form of physical favors like she had been forced to in Grass sometimes so she felt comfortable enough to get naked in front of him. They were both Konoha ANBU or well former ANBU in Kakashi’s case, and that meant neither of them was body conscious, if not the training than the ANBU showers had taken care of that, they were NOT separate.

With a sigh Ran let herself glide into the water and then closed her eyes while she sat on the gravely sand bottom of the swallow water hole, it felt heavenly. A sound of water movement across from her let her open her eyes again… and then she stared before she said in utter disbelief.

“Kakashi you are such a weirdo. You have no problem going skinny dipping with me but there is no way you will remove that mask even in that kind of situation?”

The unfairly well muscled shinobi waggled his eyebrows “I plan to save my face for my wedding night.”

Ran choked and then splashed the idiot, seriously sometimes she wondered in what kind of alternate universe she had landed.

 


	23. T&I Headquarters

Ibiki stretched tiredly while he absentmindedly inhaled the smell of his still too hot coffee in his left hand, his right was occupied with the latest reports from the prisoner section. Anko had once again proven that there was a reason why she was feared by Konoha’s enemies. That information could potentially save lives in the future.

It had been an unfathomable productive day for the head of interrogations and to be honest it made Ibiki a bit paranoid. His days just didn’t go that smoothly. So when he heard the cursing from one of the decryption rooms he felt his shoulders relax. Yep, and now everything was right again. He put on his scary face #14 and strode into the room.

Tobitake Tonbo was nearly catatonic while he rocked back and forth over his work station, Ibiki felt a pressure headache building.

“I hate him, I really, really hate him.” The, officially ranked, chunin murmured again and again.

The young interrogation specialist was one of their brightest minds but right now he was bend over his desk, several reports and decoded messages spread out in front of him and his forehead was hitting in a steady rhythm against the wooden surface in a dull rhythm.

“Tobitake.” Ibiki said sternly.

Said chunin flinched before he abruptly stopped what he was doing, “Ibiki-taicho.”

And good god, the acknowledgment came out like a whine instead of the professional tone Ibiki wanted to here.

“What is it?” it was more of a statement than a question.

“Hatake.” And yes that was clearly a whine. Good god the man was even close to tears.

Ibiki closed his eyes for a second, it seemed as if his current pressure headache had the potential for a migraine. Right. Hatake Kakashi. He should have known.

“What is it now? New messages, maybe a prank on one of our ANBU operatives.”

If the whole thing wasn’t so utterly mortifying for the whole division Ibiki could have appreciated Hatake’s fucked up humor.

“No. I got reports from ANBU Dove. She asked him why he became a missing nin and he told her, apparently serious that he didn’t KNEW. The bastard!!! He is fucking with us even when he is not fucking with us!”

“Tobitake…”

“Yes, sir?”

“Go to bed.” Ibiki said still stone faced but inwardly he was sighing and wishing for a bed himself.

“Yes, sir.” The downtrodden crypto-analyst said before he started to pack away the reports in front of him.

“Leave that, I want to take a look.” Ibiki said before he watched the 16 year old slink out of the room. The boy needed to get laid… or drunk, Ibiki really didn’t care.

With a sigh and a fervent wish for sake himself Ibiki settled and grabbed for the first of ANBU Dove’s reports since she had made contact with Hatake. Better to check everything from the start.

Hours later Ibiki wished desperately for something stronger than the bottle of sake that he had pulled out halfway through ANBU Dove’s reports. Really? Was this really his life? Was Hatake even for real? What the hell was the man’s goal? And why the hell was he so interested in the members of Team 7? It just didn’t make sense.


End file.
